Make Me Feel Alive Part 1
by colinishere
Summary: **SLASHSLASHSLASH**It's the end of a friendship and business venture of twenty years, can Banky survive?**SLASHSLASHSLASH**
1. Chapters 1&2

Title: Make Me Feel Alive Part 1: The End  
Author: CAB  
Fandom: Askewniverse  
Pairing: None  
Rating: PG for cursing  
Category: Angst, Romance  
Summary: It's the end of a friendship and business venture of twenty years, can Banky survive?  
Email: colinishere@aol.com  
Series/Sequel: The beginning of a series  
Disclaimer: Kevin Smith owns them and makes all the money off them.  
Spoilers: Chasing Amy  
Notes: This takes place right after what I consider the end of the movie, before it flashes to a year later  
  
  
Chapter 1: Devastation  
  
Banky tried to see his life from the outside, but couldn't fight back the noise in his head. "This isn't fucking happening." he sighed and flopped onto the couch.  
  
Holden had left, undoubtedly going after Alyssa.  
  
"What a fucking day." Banky shook his head and picked up the remote, trying to get lost in television...it didn't work. Frustrated, he pushed himself back up and fumbled for his keys in his pocket, it was time to get the hell out of the office and figure out the next step.  
  
*****  
  
"Leaving already?" Hooper came out of the music store as Banky went for his car.  
  
"Great." Banky sighed under his breath and shook his head, "Just going to get something to eat."  
  
"Really." Hooper crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow, "You okay?"  
  
"Fine." Banky unlocked the car door and faked his usual indifference. "Why wouldn't I be?"  
  
"I just saw Holden go running after Alyssa..." Hooper lowered his eyes as a pedestrian walked by, "I just thought I should check things out."  
  
"Oh, great. She turns my life inside out and sends a faggot after me."  
  
"I take it things aren't so great."  
  
"No doubt you've guessed the whole situation." Banky got into his car and tried not to be upset when Hooper invited himself.  
  
"Holden messed up, didn't he?"  
  
"Well, my friendship may be shot, but Holden's the one that got dumped."  
  
"I told him it was a bad idea to confront her..."  
  
"Well, he didn't listen." Banky turned away from the conversation and started the car.  
  
Hooper was silent, trying to piece together something to make Banky feel better.  
  
Banky turned on the radio and tried to act intent on driving.  
  
"I know we joke around a lot, and you're obviously uncomfortable around me, but I'm here if you need someone to talk to." Hooper sighed and looked out the window, "I don't really know what kind of shit you're going through, but I think I understand."  
  
Banky shook his head, "You can't understand, okay? That fucking bitch comes in to our life, then turns him all fucking soft, then we find out all this shit about her. Out of fucking nowhere, Holden gets it in him empty fucking head that getting us in a three-way would help me 'find myself' and get them back together." He tried to bring himself down from the rant, "He's put himself through hell over her, trashed our friendship and no doubt the book, then when I wanted to fucking die...he goes after her." he bit into his lip, holding back the urge to either kill something or cry as they pulled into the diner parking lot. "Why didn't he come after me?"  
  
Hooper blinked in disbelief at having a good part of the situation laid out in front of him, then put his hand on Banky's shoulder to offer a little comfort.  
  
Banky let his forehead fall to the steering wheel. "What the fuck am I doing?"  
  
"It's okay Banky, let's just talk about this..."  
  
"Fuck you." Banky got out of the car, slamming the door behind him.  
  
"Shit." Hooper punched the dashboard.  
  
Banky pushed open the door and scanned the diner for an accessible exit for when Hooper got on his nerves again.  
  
"How many?" A waitress holding a stack of menus drew him out of his silence.  
  
"Two." Hooper entered, taking on a commanding presence. "Smoking."  
  
"You don't have to fucking follow me." Banky slid into the corner booth and opened his menu.  
  
Hooper shrugged it off and looked back to the woman, "Coffee."  
  
"Bacon and eggs, decaf." Banky looked into his reflection in his water glass.  
  
A long silence came between them then, after the waitress brought their order, he broke the pause. "They won't get back together, you know."  
  
"I don't care." Banky looked down at his hands. "I just hope he's fucking happy."  
  
"You two can still be friends."  
  
"No, we can't. Don't you get it? He changed everything."  
  
"He didn't change anything." Hooper sipped his coffee, "You're the one freaking out over something we've all known for years."  
  
"What the fuck are you talking about?"  
  
"You *love* him, okay? We get it. As you so bluntly would put it, you're a *faggot*."  
  
"I'm not a fucking faggot, and I'm definitely not in love with him!" Banky picked up his fork and stabbed his toast repeatedly.  
  
"You can keep denying it all you want, but it's still the same. Only now the whole thing is out in the open. It'd do you a lot of fucking good to just get over yourself and admit it."  
  
"You just don't get it, do you? You don't know shit about me or my relationship with Holden."  
  
Hooper sighed to himself, "Don't know shit? Boy, I've lived it. Maybe not for twenty years, but I think I know full and well what you're going through on more than one level."  
  
"Really, how so Little Miss Know-It-All?" Banky gestured with his fork as he pushed around a pile of runny eggs.  
  
"A few years back I met a guy on a panel I was doing." He fumbled with a pack of Nails, "After talking and hanging out for a while, I was convinced he'd be 'The One'. But, I never told him. Now, every time I see him and how miserable he is, I realize how good we could have had it if I'd told him."  
  
"Well, why didn't you?" Banky was actually interested in the story.  
  
"I didn't want to mess up our friendship." Hooper lit his cigarette and tossed the lighter back down on the table. "I understand that you never brought up your feelings for Holden because you don't want to fuck up what you already had."  
  
"Who said I have feelings for him beyond normal male friendship?"  
  
"Honey," Hooper tapped his cig, "you don't have to put on this act, okay?" He sighed a little, "I know as well as you do that you love him."  
  
"Don't even start that shit again..."  
  
"Fuck you, Banky." Hooper finished his coffee. "If you're going to be a fucking child about this, fine. I'm only here to talk things out with you."  
  
"There's nothing to talk about." Banky shook his head, "Holden's out of his fucking mind, end of story."  
  
"Bitch." Hooper whispered, a plume of smoke following. "Just keep denying reality, whatever makes you feel like a big man. I just hope that when your pitiful existence comes crashing down, you have someone better than me to talk to." He stood up and dropped a couple singles on the table.  
  
Banky sighed and grabbed Hooper by the wrist, "You don't have to go."  
  
"I can't be around someone who's going to ignore the facts and lie to himself and everybody else." Hooper put out his cigarette on Banky's bacon. "I'm not going to let you drag me into your denial."  
  
Banky watched Hooper walk out the door, then tried to calmly drink his coffee. Hooper had a point, there was something going on...but he didn't want to deal with it. Giving in, he went to pay the bill and find Hooper.  
  
*****  
  
Chapter 2: Confrontation  
  
Banky made it out of the diner just in time to see Hooper catching his cab. Somewhat upset the man hadn't even waited for him; he wondered just what the next logical step would be. The only place to go was back to the only place he didn't want to be anymore.  
  
The short drive back consisted mostly of trying to decide between the only viable options. He would either have to leave, or spend as much time as possible acting like nothing ever happened. When he got back, it was obvious he didn't have much of a decision to make.  
  
"Holden?" the words echoed a little as he slammed the door and made his way to the couch.  
  
Holden looked up from where he sat at his drawing board. "You're back."  
  
"You look surprised."  
  
"Well," Holden put down his pencil. "I guess I am." He wet his lips, as if looking for the right words, "I didn't know if you'd come back or not."  
  
Banky nodded to himself and sat down, "Did you catch up with her?"  
  
"Doesn't matter." Holden shook his head. "She's gone. It's just us now, I guess."  
  
"Holden, I...I can't do this."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I can't pretend nothing happened here earlier." Banky watched as Holden lowered his eyes and nodded a little, "I wish like hell I could, but you changed everything."  
  
"I fucked up, okay? But we...we're still okay, right? I mean, nothing's really changed."  
  
"No, we're not okay. I can't keep feeling like this when we both know nothing's going to happen between us."  
  
"You've felt like this for years, right? What's new now?"  
  
"I don't know. I don't know how I feel, Holden. I'm really confused about all this shit, okay?" Banky lit a cigarette and let his free hand cover his eyes. "I just know that this whole thing is dangerous, and it's best for both of us to stop right here."  
  
"Just stop, just like that?"  
  
"It's over, Holden."  
  
"So you're just throwing away twenty years of friendship because I kissed you?"  
  
"No." Banky stood up defensively, gesturing with his speech, "I'm *saving* twenty years of great memories because we're not the same people anymore."  
  
"I'm the same, you're the same..."  
  
"No, Holden, that's just the thing. When you brought everything out into the open, you changed both of us. You changed the very nature of things. And now, we...we just don't belong here any more."  
  
"Don't belong here?"  
  
"I...I can't move on with you still in my life. Just like you can't move on while I still hold you back." Banky half laughed to himself. "We've been stuck in a codependent relationship for the last five years, at least. Now it's time to grow up."  
  
Holden stared for a moment, then lit a cigarette of his own. "No, this...you're just being stupid now, Banky. Your paranoia has finally turned to full out delusions."  
  
"I'm seeing things clearly for the first time in a while. As long as we still need each other, we can't be together."  
  
"That's bullshit and you know it. You're just looking for an easy way out."  
  
"Easy? Fuck! Who said this isn't ripping me in half?! You're the only thing in my life that matters, but if I keep playing those little head games we *both* created over the years I'm going to get fucking nowhere."  
  
"Fine." Holding gave in, the tears shining in his eyes. "Do whatever makes you happy, Banky."  
  
"It's the right way, Holden, it's the only way."  
  
"Where are you going to stay?"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"What about the con next weekend?"  
  
"We can still go, I guess."  
  
"What about the book?"  
  
"What about it? We finish out the run."  
  
"I don't want to do it by myself."  
  
"Fine, how much?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"How much for the rights, I'll finish it."  
  
"Are you fucking high? This is *our* thing...you can't just do it by yourself."  
  
"Gee, thanks for the concern, but I think I'm capable of doing a few issues. Is five grand enough?"  
  
"I'm not going to take your money."  
  
"Then what? Are you suggesting we finish it together?"  
  
"I don't know, maybe I am."  
  
"Christ, Holden."  
  
"What? It's not going to be the same book without both of us working on it."  
  
"We finished this month's run, next month we'll do the last one."  
  
"What?"  
  
"The big finish, we'll let the fucker go down with the ship."  
  
"You'd let go of Bluntman and Chronic that easy? Just like you're fucking letting me go?"  
  
"We all have to grow up sometime." Banky finished the argument bitterly and started back to his room to begin packing.  
  
***** 


	2. Chapters 3&4

Title: Make Me Feel Alive Part 1b: The End  
Author: CAB  
Fandom: Askewniverse  
Pairing: None  
Rating: PG for cursing and stuff  
Category: Angst, Romance  
Email: colinishere@aol.com  
Series/Sequel: The beginning of a series  
Disclaimer: Kevin Smith owns them and makes all the money off them.  
Spoilers: Chasing Amy  
Notes: See Chapters 1-2  
  
  
Chapter 3: Damage Control  
  
Banky looked at his stack of comics as he carefully packed them in a file box. It hadn't really been his intention to sever all ties with Holden, but the more he thought about it, the more he realized he wasn't just spouting bullshit...it really was best to get away for a while.  
  
As he went to the stereo to put on some music for a pick-me-up, the phone rang. Startled out of his daze, he stared blankly at the ringing handset. On the third ring he got the idea and picked up, "Bank-Holdup, Banky speaking."  
  
"Hey." Hooper's voice sounded just as cold as when he'd stormed out of the diner.  
  
"What the fuck do you want?" Banky sat down on his bed and began to go through his paperwork.  
  
"I want to apologize for getting pissy with you yesterday."  
  
"No apology necessary, you're probably just on your period or something."  
  
Hooper grumbled and went silent for a moment, as if collecting himself again. "I swear I don't know why I'm doing this, but I thought you might want to try again."  
  
"Try what?"  
  
"Talking this over with an impartial third party. I want to help you through this."  
  
"Fuck." Banky sighed. "You just don't know when to quit, do you?"  
  
"Come on Banky."  
  
"I'm moving out." He put a stack of papers in a file folder and added it to the box of comics.  
  
"You're what? Banky, aren't you moving just a little fast?"  
  
"I can't stay here anymore."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"It's too weird."  
  
"So you're admitting something's wrong..." Hooper's voice held a tone that echoed a thousand 'I told you so' moments.  
  
"I didn't say that. Holden's just being an asshole."  
  
"Fine. You need a hand with anything?"  
  
"What, like my boner...I'll take care of it myself, thanks."  
  
"I'm not hitting on you, bitch!"  
  
Banky laughed to himself, glad to be in control of the conversation. "Yeah, well, it'll be the first time."  
  
"Fuck you; just forget I even asked."  
  
"Where do you want to go?"  
  
"I don't know, I didn't think that far."  
  
"You really want to talk about...stuff?"  
  
"I want to help you."  
  
"You make it sound like I'm an emotional wreck." Banky stretched out on his back and closed his eyes against the light as he pulled the cord to raise the blinds.  
  
"I bet you're holed up in the dark right now, mourning the death of the 'Little Relationship that Could'."  
  
"I opened the blinds."  
  
"Oh, I guess that's a step."  
  
"Okay, I'll talk to you. But only because everybody else would call me a faggot. When you say it, it's just stupid."  
  
"Why don't you come over, I've got beer..."  
  
"No funny stuff?"  
  
"Honey, if I wanted to fuck you, I would have done it on one of the many occasions you've ended up passed out on my couch."  
  
Banky smiled, rather amused by the comment that should have offended him. "Okay, I'll be by in a few."  
  
"I'll be here." Hooper paused, "Oh, and Banky?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"It's going to be okay."  
  
Banky stared at the now revealed ceiling as Hooper hung up. For the first time in six months, he actually felt like things would be all right.  
  
After hanging up the phone, he changed out of his sweats and hoped Holden was gone for the day, unfortunately he wasn't.  
  
"Morning." Holden finished pouring his coffee and smiled warmly at Banky. "Feeling better?"  
  
"No." Banky shook his head and pulled on his jacket. "I should be done packing by tomorrow."  
  
"Banky, you don't have to do this."  
  
"I can't go through this again, Holden, I'm leaving."  
  
"Where are you going to go?" Holden scoffed, "I'm all you've got..."  
  
"And what does that say about the fucked up nature of our friendship?" Banky shook his head. "No, fuck it. I don't want to talk about this with you."  
  
"What are you looking for?" Holden watched Banky rifle through the sea of papers and other miscellaneous shit on the counter.  
  
"My keys."  
  
"You left them on the coffee table."  
  
"Thanks." Banky replied coldly.  
  
"Where are you going?"  
  
"None of your fucking business."  
  
"No, I guess it isn't." Holden shrugged, "Just curious."  
  
"If you simply must know, I've got a date."  
  
"Who's the lucky guy?" Holden dug the knife a little deeper.  
  
"Fuck you, man."  
  
"You wish."  
  
"I'm seeing a chick. She's fucking stacked, too. *And* I bet she's straight unlike the women you end up with."  
  
"So, I guess you'll be home alone tonight, then?"  
  
"Assuming I come back."  
  
"You'll be back." Holden shook his head and poured a bowl of cereal. "This is just some stupid little thing you have to get out of your system. You wouldn't know what to do with yourself after the first week."  
  
"I'm out of here." Banky opened the front door, then turned to say goodbye.  
  
"You fucking can't live without me, Banky."  
  
Banky didn't know how to reply, instead, he slammed the door and didn't turn back.  
  
*****  
  
Chapter 4: Friends?  
  
"Well look at you." Hooper smiled as he opened the door to see Banky standing silently on his welcome mat. "I never thought I'd see the day Banky Edwards stood alone on my doorstep."  
  
"I shouldn't be here..." Banky turned away.  
  
"Get your ass in here." Hooper grabbed the other man by his jacket and pulled him into the apartment, locking the door behind them. "Want something to drink?"  
  
"I just drove from New Jersey."  
  
"Oh, what was I thinking?" Hooper deadpanned and went to the kitchen for some beer.  
  
Banky looked around the room, not really recognizing any of it. "Did you redecorate?"  
  
"For your information, not all faggots are Martha Stewart."  
  
"I didn't mean that, I just don't recognize any of this stuff."  
  
"That's just because you've never seen this place when you weren't drunk or hung over."  
  
"Ah." Banky accepted a long neck and sat on the comfortable couch. "Well, that won't last long."  
  
"Hey." Hooper pointed a finger; "I will not have you get all sloppy drunk on me."  
  
"Yeah, well, I thought the current state of things kind of warranted a beer or twelve."  
  
Hooper nodded and sat at the opposite end of the couch. "How you holding up."  
  
Banky shrugged. "Doesn't matter, what's done is done."  
  
"You're really moving out then, huh?"  
  
"I don't really have a choice. I...uh...I walked."  
  
"You what?"  
  
"I fucking walked right out."  
  
"Oh my god..."  
  
"He actually had the balls..." Banky took a slug off the beer and shook his head with a sigh. "He told me that I can't live without him."  
  
"Shit." Hooper shook his hand, covering his eyes.  
  
"He was actually more worried about what we're going to do with the book, than if I was okay." Banky laughed caustically and finished his beer in a long drink.  
  
"He's such and asshole."  
  
A silence came between them, then Hooper went to fetch another beer for Banky.  
  
Banky kicked off his shoes and pulled a foot up underneath him and faced the kitchen. "I never noticed it before, you know? Then I started thinking about it last night...and I kinda realized just how much control he's had over my life the last ten years. He's controlled almost everything I've done since high school...I mean, like from inside my head. He told me what I wanted to do, and I believed him."  
  
"I never would have guessed..."  
  
"It's not like that bad or anything. But in a way I never got to make a decision for myself."  
  
"You were always thinking as a pair, not as individuals." Hooper returned with a six pack in a bucket of ice and a bag of chips.  
  
"I guess."  
  
Hooper felt the tension shift and changed the subject a little. "So, are you going to be staying with someone until you get a place?"  
  
Banky shrugged. "I don't know. I've never really thought about living on my own. I'll probably end up staying in a motel or something for a few weeks."  
  
"Oh, hon. it'll take at least a month to get a decent place."  
  
"I'm going to have to get a job too, I guess."  
  
"Aren't you guys making some bucks off the book still?"  
  
"It's over."  
  
Hooper swallowed, finally realizing that when Banky said it was over, he meant everything between he and Holden.  
  
"Oh man..."  
  
"It's still weird, you know? Like I keep thinking I'm going to wake up and it'll all be just a nightmare."  
  
"I hate to burst your bubble, Banky...but it's real."  
  
Banky pulled his other foot up onto the couch and rested his head on his hands, trying not to cry when the sudden influx of emotion rocked his body.  
  
Hooper put his hand on Banky's knee and squeezed. "But it's going to be all right."  
  
"You keep saying everything will be okay, but you have no idea how to help me."  
  
"Banky. Just...stop letting it get to you."  
  
"Stop? Stop. Like it's so fucking easy to get over losing the only person I've ever loved."  
  
"There will be others." Hooper went into a spiel he'd done a hundred times before. "There will be other boys, other girls...what ever you want, Banky." He watched as Banky's teary eyes looked up at him. "Give it time."  
  
"They won't be him."  
  
"No, they won't." Hooper sighed and moved his hands to Banky's shoulders. "That's the best part. You'll get to discover a whole new world with people that aren't Holden. There is a life after him, Banky."  
  
"People are transitory, Hooper! You know that. I need a constant. He was my rock."  
  
"Drift, then. Be free. He wasn't a rock; he was dead weight...you were drowning with him."  
  
"But..."  
  
"You don't need him." Hooper backed off a little and went back to his end of the couch. "All you need in life is yourself. If you think otherwise, you're doing just what he wants you to do."  
  
"What?"  
  
"You say he thinks you can't live without him...if you fall apart the moment he's out of your life, you're living up to his insulting standards. You're better than that."  
  
"No." Banky shook his head. "I'm not."  
  
"What do you want, Banky?"  
  
"I want to be with Holden again." Banky closed his eyes, using his palms to press away small tears.  
  
"Why?  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"Yes you do. Tell me why he means so much to you!"  
  
"Because he loves me."  
  
Hooper sighed. "Banky, you can't move on until you understand you can't be with him."  
  
"I know...I understand, but...I'm alone without him."  
  
"Alone? Are you serious?"  
  
"Who else do I have? My family gave up on me when I decided I wanted to make a living in comics...and all my friends are his friends."  
  
"You aren't alone, Banky."  
  
"Oh yeah, I've got you...right." Banky spat.  
  
"Yes, you do." Hooper yelled back. "And even though you don't appreciate the understanding I offer and the fact that I am beating myself silly over this shit...I'm here for you. Do you hear that, fucker? I'M HERE FOR YOU." He stood up and stormed off to the bathroom where he slammed the door behind him.  
  
Banky grumbled to himself, then drank part of his beer while he tried to sort things out.  
  
Eventually, he knocked on the bathroom door to see if Hooper was okay. "Are you coming out of there any time soon?"  
  
"No."  
  
"I gotta piss." Banky put his head on the door and sighed.  
  
"There's a Burger King down the street."  
  
"You know what, fuck you man, okay? I don't know what to tell you."  
  
"It doesn't matter."  
  
"What can I say to make you come out of there?"  
  
"I don't want you to say what I want to hear! I just want you to GET IT." Hooper's voice echoed off the tile. "Just when I think you're about to understand, you go back into your little 'I need Holden in my life, but I'm not in love with him' shit."  
  
"I...it's all complicated."  
  
"Is it? I don't think it is. What do you really want, Banky? You say you want Holden, then why are you here bitching about it? You know very well all you have to do is go back and things will be just the way they were."  
  
"Things can't be the way they were..."  
  
"Yes they can, he wants to live in the delusion as much as you do."  
  
"I..." Banky swallowed roughly, then followed the lump in his throat with some beer. "I guess I don't want to have things like they were."  
  
"Good, that's a start. Now, what do you want?"  
  
"I don't know what I want. Okay? For the first time in my life I don't know what to do next."  
  
"Thank you." Hooper opened the door, shocked when Banky fell into him.  
  
Banky used Hooper to push himself upright again. And shook his head. "I'm fucking lost."  
  
"Don't you get it?" Hooper took Banky by the shoulders. "That's okay. That's *NORMAL*. You're not supposed to have all the answers."  
  
Banky sighed and laughed just so he wouldn't cry. "What do I do now?"  
  
"I'll tell you what you do." Hooper led Banky out to the living room and let out a relived sigh. "You're going to sit here with me, drink a few beers, and then you're going to go sleep in my guest bedroom until morning. Then, once we've had some breakfast, we'll talk about what to do next."  
  
Banky nodded, then let Hooper hug him. "Thank you."  
  
Hooper shook his head. "It's nothing, hon."  
  
"I mean it." Banky held the man tighter. "I don't know why you're doing all this for me, but right now you're the only person who even cares."  
  
"No, I'm not." Hooper looked into Banky's eyes as they pulled away from each other. "There's a whole world you've never seen that cares just as much as I do."  
  
***** 


	3. Chapters 5&6

Title: Make Me Feel Alive Part 1c: The End  
Author: CAB  
Fandom: Askewniverse  
Pairing: None  
Rating: PG  
Category: Angst, Romance  
Email: colinishere@aol.com  
Series/Sequel: The beginning of a series  
Disclaimer: Kevin Smith owns them and makes all the money off them.  
Spoilers: Chasing Amy  
Notes & Writer's Comments: See Chapters 1-2  
  
  
Chapter 5: Business as Unusual  
  
Banky awoke to a stinging sunlight in his eyes in a strange bed. Part of him expected to have a stranger beside him, but he was alone.  
  
He stumbled, bleary eyed and achy, to the bathroom and remembered he'd spent the night at Hooper's, and taken up residence in the guest room. As usual, a brand new toothbrush and bottle of aspirin sat on the counter beside a fresh towel and bar of baby powder soap.  
  
After brushing his teeth and washing up, he felt a little less hung over, but still wasn't looking forward to the day ahead of him.  
  
The light knock on the door startled him as he stared at his reflection in the mirror.  
  
"It's not locked." Banky sighed, then hung up the towel as Hooper came in behind him.  
  
"Morning." Hooper came in, dressed in fatigues and black leather. "Or should I say 'Afternoon' now?"  
  
Banky shrugged. "Where you going? Some kind of pride march or something?"  
  
"Gotta go work, hon." He primped a little as he pushed Banky out of the way. "Someone's gotta sell my book."  
  
"Oh." Banky nodded to himself and smoothed out a wrinkle in his jeans.  
  
"Why are you looking so dejected? Don't you have things you should be doing?"  
  
"I just thought maybe you'd help me move." Banky began to feel a little uncomfortable in the cramped bathroom, so he moved into the hall.  
  
"Yeah, sure, then we can get our hair done and spend all afternoon painting each other's nails in bed." Hooper rolled his eyes, "I got bills to pay, sweetie, and while I'd love to spend my day watching you pack your jeans...Rent's due next week."  
  
"Oh, okay. No problem, I guess." Banky shrugged, "I...uh, I just thought we were in this together."  
  
"Banky," Hooper turned away from the mirror and put on his beret. "I'm all over the emotional support thing, but like I said...a man's gotta eat. And, I can't earn a living if I don't show up at these appearances."  
  
Banky paused for a moment, then leaned on the door jamb and smirked.  
  
"Why do you look like the cat that caught the mouse?"  
  
"Is this a money thing?" Banky licked his lips, "Or are you just trying to get away from me?"  
  
"A money thing?" Hooper pushed Banky aside. "No, this is a 'Hooper has to sell his dream' thing. Maybe if I were to forfeit my artistic integrity like *some* people, I'd be up to my balls in cash..."  
  
"Don't make this about me." Banky shook his head, "I was just asking a simple question..."  
  
"With you there is no such thing as a simple question." Hooper gathered his things into a little black leather backpack.  
  
"I was just wondering, a little curiosity never hurt, did it?" Banky paused, following Hooper into the living room. "It just strikes me as odd that your book doesn't sell that well, and yet...you manage to afford a two bedroom apartment in the city..."  
  
"Drop it." Hooper took on a sudden serious tone and picked up his keys.  
  
"Consider it dropped."  
  
"Good." Hooper lit a cigarette. "Get your shit, let's go."  
  
"Where are we going?"  
  
"You're going to go pack up and I'm going to work."  
  
"Oh, I just figured we were going to get breakfast first..."  
  
"You can buy me breakfast tonight."  
  
"Tonight?"  
  
"I'll borrow a friend's truck and meet you tonight so we can start moving in your stuff."  
  
Banky stood, a little stunned as Hooper went into the kitchen and took an orange from the fridge.  
  
"What the fuck are you staring at?" Hooper looked back to where Banky stood, his jaw still halfway to the floor. "Go get your stuff before I do."  
  
*****  
  
Chapter 6: Home, Less  
  
Banky looked at the door to the place he once called home. Holden had already put black tape over the merging of their names, the company BankHoldup. Praying to any God that could possibly exist, he turned his key in the lock and hoped Holden wouldn't be around. Thankfully, the place was empty.  
  
Very empty.  
  
It looked like Holden had boxed up almost all the rest of belongings and moved the boxes out to the living room. Even his couch was gone and some of the stuff he'd had framed over the years taken down off the walls. After a moment of complete confusion, he found the letter sitting next to a manila folder on the coffee table.  
  
-Banky,  
  
"I thought I'd do the right thing and help you out of here. You made it pretty damn clear I can't make you stay. Your couch, bed and drawing table are all in storage down the block. Left the key in your denim jacket."  
  
Banky put down the page and looked at the folder. After running his finger around the edge, he opened it up. All his records, birth certificate, apparently all the things Holden had locked up in the fireproof safe a while back. But, at the very bottom a plain white envelope. Inside was the one thing he'd asked for...the rights to Bluntman and Chronic.  
  
Floored by the sight, he put everything back on the table and sat on the floor where his couch had been for years. After drawing his knees up to his chin, he covered his eyes and tried for once to get inside Holden's head. Why was he an asshole one minute, then giving up everything the next? Was signing over the rights just a ploy to get him to come back?  
  
It could have been hours later for all he cared, but when the phone rang he just about jumped out of his skin. "BankHoldup." He answered quietly.  
  
"You don't have to keep the name." Holden's voice came over the line.  
  
"What?" Banky was more confused by the fact that Holden was calling than what he'd just said.  
  
"I hope you don't mind me finishing up your packing. I'm...uh...I'm going to be moving pretty soon, myself."  
  
"Oh, really?" Banky tried to sound casual, but failed.  
  
"Yeah, a friend of mine is going to hook me up with a single." He paused, "You know, I can't expect to make rent for the old place on freelancing alone."  
  
Trying not to cave into the guilt trip and played it cool, "I'm not really sure where I'll end up...but I'm really liking the city."  
  
"I'm sure you've got a lot of ideas."  
  
Banky felt suddenly very vulnerable and wanted to flee the place they'd built, to get as far away from Holden as possible. "I should go, I've got a lot to do."  
  
"Sure, sure."  
  
"Okay. Um, bye then."  
  
"And, Banky?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"See you at the convention." the line clicked and Banky stood silently as the dial tone blared.  
  
"Fucker." The word barely crossed his lips, but it was the only thing he could think of.  
  
***** 


End file.
